- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

Nielsen: Nice beaver! Woman: Thanks! Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice p*ssy Woman: Ah! Thank you! (cat meows) Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice wet vagina. Woman: Is this in the script? Director: CUT! Nielsen: What? Cant a man improvise? I mean OJ does it, and he is quite the nice fella... Moral: "Quite the nice fella" Yeah reminds me of good old dad, nice to everyone, and could take a lot of shit, but as much as I asked him how he was doing, I got an uppercut to the face and a nice trip in a ambulance... Started when I was 4, I crushed his upper Jaw in self defense when I was 16... ah... hmm... Why am I sharing this? Then again why not... When have I not spoken my mind.

I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

Man, no im still waiting,need to get my kids, hope its fine son, okay punches, captain falcon, but you break my jaw, I wont even ask for you to pay the bill, ill expect it. Man, good times, honestly, i was not even drunk, I was high as shit, never again tho, they did not tell me it was "magic tobacco" until I started seeing numbers NUMBAS! Hey, mind if I come stay sometime? I mean we really miss you son, you always at the fuckhouse now. Just me and... Well the gang... Just like the twelve of us, tell me who you dont want to invite and ill bounce him out for you. Man dog, that chick I punched down was pretty as fuck, she would have been my wife... Anyway just fucking happy finally a real car dude! If she fucks you to death, you gonna go out young and a Legend among gods, let her keep on sucka! (just don forget bout my sis huh? She asks about you too fucking much already) Man, you got me typing almost as much as you dog, anyway is you know, in four hours allright? If not screw my kid, I need a car ill get him a cab.

I'm your Edward and your my Bella

guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

#1 You're breath smells like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow? No, because , while mine may smell like Skittles, yours reeks. #2 Girl: Hey, I got this new Kiss Proof lip gloss, wanna try it out? (there are 2 answers to this) 1.Boy: Well, yours may be Kiss Proof, but mines not, and I don't have time to re-apply this after 2. Yeah, I do want to try it out, but not with you.

Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

my dick is 2 inches

can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

why are you you touching me ????

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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