baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

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Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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my dick is 2 inches

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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who wants to play EPAR

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

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Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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Male: Get in the van.

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The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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why are you you touching me ????

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How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!