Golf.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +115

Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

You look exactly like my sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

In a classy bar: KEEP IT CLASSY! Man: Hello there dear... your eyes sparkle like the sun itself... Woman: Oh... thank you random stranger, that is the most beautiful thing someone have ever said to me :D Man: Really? But you are gorgeous (the two proceed to have a long CLASSY conversation and laughing in a classy reserved matter and drinking classy champagne and whatever... and then: Man: Ahahaha yes that is indeed true... By the way... would you mind becoming the single lonely mother of my children? Moral: skipped most of school classes... class ... overrated...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

thumb_up thumb_down -11

-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

thumb_up thumb_down -2

-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

thumb_up thumb_down +201

- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I have a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +231

you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Yeah... you'll have to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

thumb_up thumb_down -110

He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

thumb_up thumb_down +285

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!