- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

Does it smell in here or it just you?

Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

Give me some sugar... honey.

Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book