wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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So when' the baby due?

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rohypnol. rape drug

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

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Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

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girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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EVERYONE ELSE

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So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!