Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

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How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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Gaywatch starts

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

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What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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Drunk guy with high standards part 3: Man: Dunno woman... you are so big and... and... FAT and really huge and stuff but... well... uh.. you are still really damn hot so lets do it! Man: YAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Astronauts: Did that guy really eject himself towards the sun? Moral: At least he was right about the really hot part... and that ladies and gentlemen, is the terrible end of the amazing drunk man with high standards, you can read the whole series just by clicking onwards trough my comments and give em a thumbs ups just as you go along.. otherwise they will show up... mean they wo..

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!