I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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Gaywatch starts

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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-Do you like me? -No

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HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!