At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

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GET INTO DA CHOPPAH! Moral: IM LIEUTENANT JOHN KIMBLE! I HAVE A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS YOU HAVE TO ANSWER IMMEDIATELY! Whoos your daddy? YOU STAP IT! YOU IDIEOUT!

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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nice kid... want another?

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!