Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

thumb_up thumb_down +152

Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

hey Herpes Go Away!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

thumb_up thumb_down -105

Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

thumb_up thumb_down +23

M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

thumb_up thumb_down +119

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down -47

i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

thumb_up thumb_down -47

M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

thumb_up thumb_down -166

- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

thumb_up thumb_down +182

Hello, it's nice to meet you.

thumb_up thumb_down +204

Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

thumb_up thumb_down +76

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +64

If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

thumb_up thumb_down +92

At a Bar for blacks... and whites... and everybody else... Man: I can last for hours in bed! Woman: *gets closer and whispers in his ear: Really? Man: OH YeeeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Woman: Lets go to your place... Man: Meh, I am done. Moral: Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse me I need to go change clothes...

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!