Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

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rohypnol. rape drug

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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nice kid... want another?

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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GET INTO DA CHOPPAH! Moral: IM LIEUTENANT JOHN KIMBLE! I HAVE A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS YOU HAVE TO ANSWER IMMEDIATELY! Whoos your daddy? YOU STAP IT! YOU IDIEOUT!

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!