Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

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If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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Gaywatch starts

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Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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nice kid... want another?

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!