Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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I have a gun.

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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You look exactly like my sister.

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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Golf.

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!