How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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Man: Hey... wanna join me at my big mansion and have a friendly discussion? Girl: A mansion eh? Well.. sure! At the mansion: Man: MUAHAHAHAHA! I am gonna r@pe you! Girl: NO PLEASE! I am not drun.. uh not ready yet! 5 minutes later: Woman: OUCH! ouchie! That hurts! Stop it! ITS TOO HARD! Man: HAHA AND TAKE THIS GRAPE! AND THIS GRAPE! Oh... never mind this is one has turned a raisin... AND THIS GRAPE!... so uh... anyway wanna move on to the "lovers room" later? Want some more Champagne by the way? AND THIS GRAPE, AND THIS ONE IS REALLY BIG AND HARD! GET READY! Woman: Yeah sure... sigh... just get done with this weirdness already... damn these eccentric millionaires... OUCH! OOF!

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So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

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I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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