nice kid... want another?

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

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Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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-Do you like me? -No

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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-I love you.

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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Soon

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!