Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

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Welcome to DIE!

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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your almost as hot as my wife

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!