- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

nice kid... want another?

At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

Dont let this rape turn into a murder

If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

Soon

I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

When you get her to your place I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

-Do you like me? -No

He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book