nice kid... want another?

thumb_up thumb_down +95

Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

thumb_up thumb_down -106

Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

thumb_up thumb_down -101

Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +54

If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

thumb_up thumb_down +221

-Do you like me? -No

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Soon

thumb_up thumb_down -84

-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

thumb_up thumb_down +127

Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

thumb_up thumb_down +105

I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Dont let this rape turn into a murder

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

thumb_up thumb_down +154

Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

thumb_up thumb_down +38

-I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!