your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

thumb_up thumb_down -53

My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

thumb_up thumb_down -115

Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Yeah... you'll have to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Hi I'm Shaniqua.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

thumb_up thumb_down +94

knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

thumb_up thumb_down -116

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +76

Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Golf.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

thumb_up thumb_down +135

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

thumb_up thumb_down -123

M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

thumb_up thumb_down +66

If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

thumb_up thumb_down +167

you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

thumb_up thumb_down +18

hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!