Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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my dick is 2 inches

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

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Im gonna rape you..

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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Male: Get in the van.

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!