Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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You look exactly like my sister.

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!