Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

your almost as hot as my wife

Welcome to DIE!

Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

Lesbihonest

Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

Guy: Do you have a mirror in your pocket... Girl: Why? Because you can see yourself in my pants, I've heard that before. Guy: No, I want to check how I look before I go over and talk to your sister.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!