He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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Soon

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!