Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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I have a gun.

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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my dick is 2 inches

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!