Hello children! :D

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Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

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Male: Get in the van.

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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sex me.

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Im gonna rape you..

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!