guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

I have a gun.

Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

Golf.

If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

Yeah... you'll have to do.

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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