If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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You look exactly like my sister.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!