-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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my dick is 2 inches

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Hello children! :D

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!