Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

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my dick is 2 inches

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!