Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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my dick is 2 inches

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Im gonna rape you..

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Male: Get in the van.

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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sex me.

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!