Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

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(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

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Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!