Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

thumb_up thumb_down +78

M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Hey can I have your number? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

On line post: Woman: HELLO! I love you, I am from Russia and find you particularly handsome and rich I am certain you could take care of me and I will do anything for you ;) here are some nice pictures I have never met someone as fantastic as you please contact me! (revealing pictures.gif) additional information: This message has been sent to 100.000 other recipients. FAIL! Moral: And I had not even moved out from my parents home yet... rich enough my ass...

thumb_up thumb_down -55

(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +50

boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

thumb_up thumb_down +48

- You look really nice - I know

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Eyh! its me Black Metal, I seriously cant pay you right now son! Sorry if this comes late this page do not work for shit, (I bet thats why you pick this page you egomaniac son, If you was not full of em charisma id never do this alright?) Okay Overlord, I got your message, hell you know my sister loves you crazy crazy man, why the hell would I try to "hold her away" I mean fuck its banging, so yeah thumbs ups man High five for my sister, its you know, she was super shy before you showed up, now she cant do gym anymore (haha man you so hardcore) but she has lots of friends and you know... So am I absolved now Overlord Black Metal? Moral: Because this guy made me put this, man, you making me feel like a total bitch, good play son!

thumb_up thumb_down -80

You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +127

Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Welcome to DIE!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!