can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

Hello children! :D

HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

"My mom won't be home for hours..."

So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

Male: Get in the van.

Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

fancy going halves on a bastard?

You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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