Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

thumb_up thumb_down +149

Hello children! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -23

J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

thumb_up thumb_down -75

he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

thumb_up thumb_down -4

"My mom won't be home for hours..."

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

thumb_up thumb_down +284

So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

thumb_up thumb_down +225

Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

thumb_up thumb_down +27

wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

thumb_up thumb_down +143

Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

thumb_up thumb_down +178

Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!