Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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sex me.

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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Im gonna rape you..

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!