Hello children! :D

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!