-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Lesbihonest

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greetings clarisse...

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!