You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

fancy going halves on a bastard?

So when' the baby due?

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

I've got a black belt in lovin'.

Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

Man, no im still waiting,need to get my kids, hope its fine son, okay punches, captain falcon, but you break my jaw, I wont even ask for you to pay the bill, ill expect it. Man, good times, honestly, i was not even drunk, I was high as shit, never again tho, they did not tell me it was "magic tobacco" until I started seeing numbers NUMBAS! Hey, mind if I come stay sometime? I mean we really miss you son, you always at the fuckhouse now. Just me and... Well the gang... Just like the twelve of us, tell me who you dont want to invite and ill bounce him out for you. Man dog, that chick I punched down was pretty as fuck, she would have been my wife... Anyway just fucking happy finally a real car dude! If she fucks you to death, you gonna go out young and a Legend among gods, let her keep on sucka! (just don forget bout my sis huh? She asks about you too fucking much already) Man, you got me typing almost as much as you dog, anyway is you know, in four hours allright? If not screw my kid, I need a car ill get him a cab.

So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

Hey, do you want to dance? No.

Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

rohypnol. rape drug

Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

haha

Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

sex me.

#1 You're breath smells like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow? No, because , while mine may smell like Skittles, yours reeks. #2 Girl: Hey, I got this new Kiss Proof lip gloss, wanna try it out? (there are 2 answers to this) 1.Boy: Well, yours may be Kiss Proof, but mines not, and I don't have time to re-apply this after 2. Yeah, I do want to try it out, but not with you.

Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!