*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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Are your prices by the hour

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greetings clarisse...

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-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!