-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

I'm your Edward and your my Bella

Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

The anti part of below comment, may be the fact that its going to get thumbed down to Hades. Moral: They see me rollin, they envious... women that look like supermodels that work as jurists dont come easy... unless you are Moral Man. *Plays moral man theme* (Character inspired by Salvador Dali, I mean what greater inspiration than the man that celebrated each day as he woke up in the body and mind of the greatest man ever? Me? Same, but I also wake up next to the greatest woman ever.)

Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

GET INTO DA CHOPPAH! Moral: IM LIEUTENANT JOHN KIMBLE! I HAVE A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS YOU HAVE TO ANSWER IMMEDIATELY! Whoos your daddy? YOU STAP IT! YOU IDIEOUT!

Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

- Did it hurt? - Yes.

GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

Man: I can control all women in the world! Guys: WOOOOT YEAH! Me: I can control all men! Guys: Huh?? Man: What the fuck is that good for you like guys or something? Wait hey let go of me! Moral: And off the endless cliff you all go MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Ladies, it seems it is up to us to repopulate this world, not sure if we can make it, but I shall do my best, but since I am just one, you better do all the moving, so I can conserve my energy.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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