Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

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If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

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You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

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HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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GET INTO DA CHOPPAH! Moral: IM LIEUTENANT JOHN KIMBLE! I HAVE A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS YOU HAVE TO ANSWER IMMEDIATELY! Whoos your daddy? YOU STAP IT! YOU IDIEOUT!

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

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your almost as hot as my wife

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Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

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Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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Gaywatch starts

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!