At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

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Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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