who wants to play EPAR

thumb_up thumb_down +16

*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

thumb_up thumb_down +130

Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

thumb_up thumb_down +87

How much do you like peanut butter?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

thumb_up thumb_down -16

- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

thumb_up thumb_down +120

Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

thumb_up thumb_down -50

i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

thumb_up thumb_down +279

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!