Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

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Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Drunk guy with high standards part 3: Man: Dunno woman... you are so big and... and... FAT and really huge and stuff but... well... uh.. you are still really damn hot so lets do it! Man: YAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Astronauts: Did that guy really eject himself towards the sun? Moral: At least he was right about the really hot part... and that ladies and gentlemen, is the terrible end of the amazing drunk man with high standards, you can read the whole series just by clicking onwards trough my comments and give em a thumbs ups just as you go along.. otherwise they will show up... mean they wo..

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!