I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

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Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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-Get in the Van

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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imgonna r@pe you

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Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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Pick up lines from the stoneage: Man: RARGH GROG BEAT YOU WITH CLUB! AND MAKE THE LITTLE GROGS WITH YOU! Woman: But I just had one! Aww not this again whatever... Moral: And over time women adjusted to clubs and often end up knocked up when passing out in them, While men that own their own clubs usually end up knocking up a lot more of them... Some things never change...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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