I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

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I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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who wants to play EPAR

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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Drunk guy with high standards part 3: Man: Dunno woman... you are so big and... and... FAT and really huge and stuff but... well... uh.. you are still really damn hot so lets do it! Man: YAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Astronauts: Did that guy really eject himself towards the sun? Moral: At least he was right about the really hot part... and that ladies and gentlemen, is the terrible end of the amazing drunk man with high standards, you can read the whole series just by clicking onwards trough my comments and give em a thumbs ups just as you go along.. otherwise they will show up... mean they wo..

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

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So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!