Hey can I have your number? No.

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-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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Penis. I got it

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Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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On line post: Woman: HELLO! I love you, I am from Russia and find you particularly handsome and rich I am certain you could take care of me and I will do anything for you ;) here are some nice pictures I have never met someone as fantastic as you please contact me! (revealing pictures.gif) additional information: This message has been sent to 100.000 other recipients. FAIL! Moral: And I had not even moved out from my parents home yet... rich enough my ass...

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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greetings clarisse...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!