Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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Real life again. I was about twenty and things where going on really well with a shy Swedish girl... Me: Hey, my name is Axel, you know, like Axel Rose? ;) She: I hate that guy! Me: Me too! She: Are you being fake? I dont want to talk to you anymore. Me: No wait I really hate him! She: So desperate... (pats me on the head and leaves me feeling pretty stupid) Moral: Last time I used that one, I hate Axel Rose and I hate my parents naming me after that bastard

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Nice legs what time do they open

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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Five dollar women... WOO!

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!