- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

Soon

“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

i am with stupid l l l \/

If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

-I love you.

Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. unzips pants

Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book