MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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greetings clarisse...

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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On line post: Woman: HELLO! I love you, I am from Russia and find you particularly handsome and rich I am certain you could take care of me and I will do anything for you ;) here are some nice pictures I have never met someone as fantastic as you please contact me! (revealing pictures.gif) additional information: This message has been sent to 100.000 other recipients. FAIL! Moral: And I had not even moved out from my parents home yet... rich enough my ass...

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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- You look really nice - I know

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!