- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

When you get her to your place I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

i am with stupid l l l \/

Soon

If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

-I love you.

Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. unzips pants

Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book