Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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Hey can I have your number? No.

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

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Eyh! its me Black Metal, I seriously cant pay you right now son! Sorry if this comes late this page do not work for shit, (I bet thats why you pick this page you egomaniac son, If you was not full of em charisma id never do this alright?) Okay Overlord, I got your message, hell you know my sister loves you crazy crazy man, why the hell would I try to "hold her away" I mean fuck its banging, so yeah thumbs ups man High five for my sister, its you know, she was super shy before you showed up, now she cant do gym anymore (haha man you so hardcore) but she has lots of friends and you know... So am I absolved now Overlord Black Metal? Moral: Because this guy made me put this, man, you making me feel like a total bitch, good play son!

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!