Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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greetings clarisse...

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Hey can I have your number? No.

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-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!