I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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Damn you look good in beer goggles.

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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-Get in the Van

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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cockface

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Five dollar women... WOO!

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!