-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

thumb_up thumb_down -23

You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down +84

Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

thumb_up thumb_down -6

"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Hey can I have your number? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +36

-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

thumb_up thumb_down -71

i am with stupid l l l \/

thumb_up thumb_down +212

Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

thumb_up thumb_down -145

M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

- You look really nice - I know

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!